Writing Through Parenthood: How Do You Do It??
It’s the New Year, which usually means new writing goals—goals that are easy to set, but harder to follow through on. We know just how challenging it can be to find time and space to focus on your writing, so this year, we’re introducing a new class—just for parents! Check out this interview with our fabulous fiction instructor Diana Fenves as she discusses the new class, tips, and what she wished she’d known before becoming a parent.
Q: What has your journey as a parent and writer looked like?
Ups and downs! I was terrified when I was pregnant with my now two-year-old daughter that my writing would suffer as a mother. It was a running joke in my MFA program that I was the “one [woman] who wanted children” — as if this was an eccentric fact about me and potentially a major obstacle. Having a baby did change my writing, my habits, and my schedule. I actually wrote more but for shorter periods of time. I started working on a larger number of short pieces, embraced more maternal/domestic themes and my characters’ relationships have taken on greater complexity.
On the negative side, It has been hard to find big blocks of time for things like residencies, going out to readings, taking on longer works, and reading denser novels. However, parents of older children have assured me that the phase of parenting when children are young is unique. One friend, a local poet, told me that becoming a parent helped concentrate and crystallize her time. I do agree that parenting adds a greater intensity, meaning, and thoughtfulness to my time. Of course, it has also brought exhaustion, economic pressure, and changes to my sense of self (not to mention my body.) It is a complicated journey, and I’m in my third trimester now for a second child—so it’s going to change again!
Q: What is something you wished you had known beforehand?
I believe that we have moments in life that change our capacity to love when we literally become so full of love that the room we have in our hearts expands. It’s a painful, joyous, terrifying process of change. I felt that way when I met my husband when we got our dog, and when we had our daughter. I was very worried that I wouldn’t connect with my daughter when she was born. A lot of women in my family are not so big on babies, after all, they don’t communicate much, do they? My mother told me that no matter what happens with pregnancy or postpartum, I shouldn’t “underestimate my capacity for love.” She was right. Now that I’m pregnant again, I’m reminding myself of this wisdom.
Q: What do you hope students will get out of the class?
I hope students get a chance to build a community of parent writers, find time to pursue their work, and find creative inspiration in their parenting experience—whatever those experiences have been. Parenting, particularly motherhood, can be presented in our culture as either completely sanitized and romantic or intensely dark. I hope students feel free to take the subject on with nuisance and authenticity in a way that’s right for them.
A big thanks to Diana for sharing these insights with us! Intersted in the class, which begins Wednesday, January 24 from 10 a.m. to 12 a.m.? Learn more here.